Becoming Coachable

People seek the help of a coach for guidance and support to make changes, glean new understanding, or create something new in their lives. Change is a beautiful thing. In order to create something new, one often must let go of something old. Such as; an idea, belief, habit, or even a relationship. Humans can have a hard time letting go, I know I do. To really get a lot out of a coaching relationship, there are three important things to consider letting go of to prepare yourself for the work ahead:

Let Go of Self-Judgement

Perhaps the single most important effort you can put forth is to stop judging. Stop judging yourself, stop judging other people. It’s the first step in allowing sincere and authentic reflection, and healthy inner work. Once you’ve let go of judgement you have freed yourself from defensiveness and you are left with an open, curious mind and heart.

Let Go of Self-Protection

Vulnerability can be challenging. Our natural human tendency is to protect ourselves and our loved ones. Unfortunately this can sometimes lead to self deception or a feeling of being a victim and at the mercy of others. In order to take full control of your life you need to take full responsibility for it. In his book Radical Responsibility, Fleet Maul makes the case for taking full responsibility for yourself. He compassionately challenges his reader to accept responsibility for the way she responds to her life circumstances. Your mindset, your thoughts, your actions, your behavior, take responsibility for all of it, rather than feeling heavy you may find it sets you free.

Let Go of Rigid Beliefs

The practice of “Not believing everything you think” can be a powerful catalyst for personal growth. The thought “I can’t” becomes “I will try”. You may also discover, as I did with this exercise that many of the things I thought were not really my own thoughts - they were some combination of societal expectations and pressures and the ideas I picked up early on in my family of origin. An open mind has room for growth. This new flexibility of thought allows for gentleness with yourself and others and it fosters human connection. Not believing everything I think is one of my favorite practices, I think it’s transformational.